I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
