I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
