My brain says no but my pants say off.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
