R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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