Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
