why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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