True but thats because hes a fetus.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
