He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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