Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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