she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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