census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
