FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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