Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
