I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
