At least make sure they are 18
Why
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
