Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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