Just fell off a train. Bad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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