It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
