I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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