this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
