PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
