she woke up with a sticky ear
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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