What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
