i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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