so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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