this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
