I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
