i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
COCAINE IS GR8
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
