she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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