Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
