I don't think brook has ever known best
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
