Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
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