He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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