And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
