I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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