so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize