i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
