Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
