HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
