Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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