Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
