A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
