All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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