I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
