I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Drunk walkin through police station. America
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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