i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
