So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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