she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
