I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When are your genitals available?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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