I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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