I want to walk on stilts...naked
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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