So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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