I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
