Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize