I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
