I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
