literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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