walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize