help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
