your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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